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Thursday, 17 April 2014

Incredible India or outrageous India ?

Outrageous India 



This is a mail by someone who was asked to write about our beloved 'incredible India's we call ourselves . The existence of outrageous behavior does appall a number of foreigners and in spite of really trying hard they can't figure us out .
Funny , because I've heard a number of Indians say this too, including myself. If anyone wants to add some other nuances of our outrageous behaviour , please go ahead. No hard feelings .



                                                     We are Indians and we know it .


Zora Vasulinovaincomplete sociologist, broadening my English vocabulary every day

I am putting bit different things than Astha J., just according my memories. Those might not be "the biggest" shocks, but definitely not expected stuffs. Now those things are mostly funny to me, or I just understand them, but that time it was surprising.


1) Got out of airplane, got on riksha, got out, paid (local friend told me how much) driver took 50Rs and did the headshake. I was totally lost. I didn't know if I paid less, or if it is okay, when I asked, the driver again did the headshake... :-D This together with overall different body language was very confusing the communication.


2) Second week. I was able to cross the road with heavy traffic without any help. Applause! After few weeks I developed my own style how to cross any road. Feeling of a master.

3) People think I am rich and awesome just because I am pale foreigner. WTF? :D But it was certainly a pleasure to be treated like someone special. - True is, this applies especially to less educated people.

4) Cows are worshipped but they are damn skinny and eating rubbish from the streets. ?!!!! Seems like cows are really independent over there!

5) As a woman I am considered to be weaker, taken care of, endangered etc. Sometimes it made me feel like I am a kid or less developed in my mind according my male friends.

6) Kids working manually instead of being in a school. Fact that some kid washed my clothes or was brooming in my guesthouse and that they were paid for that or it was considered to be normal was bit scaring me.

7) Meeting handsome, entertaining, smart males at age 20+ who are virgins.Plus they talk about it. (First, I was shocked sex is so oppressed in this culture, second - why the hell is that even a topic to be disscused? For me it is my personal stuff, not even my parents should be interested in. 
EDIT: In my country people would pity you for being a virgin in this age anyway, we would think you are too unwanted/did not grew up yet and that is why you are still a virgin.)

8) Youths hanging around the malls considering this as a fun. To me it was super pointless as well as the amount of bollywood movies watched by a regular person. I expected more creativtiy in the free time, more culture... including sports, walks, performing arts, music concerts, actuall theatre etc.

9) Lack of coffee.... but chai everywhere. Even though I was served with a coffee it was this processed "shit", the powdered one (Nescafé), I was surprised, I expected the "real" one in a country which plants it. (Now I know it is to be found rather in the south...)

10) Incredible noise. Even inside houses - the fans.

11) The huge number of students - engineers, and how many girls study this field as well.

12) Old skinny people riding rickshaws and young fat/wealthly people using this. 

13) Pissing yes - kissing no "rule" for public.

14) Bribing even at the lowest level. (Coz of simple paperwork or fines from a policeman)

15) Fact that I should not be outside in the night/using tuk-tuk in the night. Or that it is dangerous to do so.

16) Many people are doing even a tiniest, non productive job. Like - it took three guys to serve me at a cash desk. One was naming the items, one was typing it in and third was putting them into a bag...

17) Once I mistakenly left the shop in a hurry without being given the cash back. I went back six hours later, there were different people, but within ten minutes they made the calls etc. and gave me my 500Rs back. WOW!

18) The way how Indians serve and help each other without knowing each other. Providing water to ANYONE who asks. Lending your phone for a call to a stranger! That is still blowing my mind.

19) Buying a SIM card - I had to fill out the form with the name and a job of my father. What?! Why? :D

20) The fact that the youth are looking forward for their arranged marriage.I was supershocked by that. (Now I wish for one too, *sigh*)

21) People consider quite common to speak three or more languages. In Europe we also speak more languages sometimes, but if we do, we consider ourselves rather special. :D

22) PC games are equal to sport and for winning them you can be awarded and recognized even at the university level. Real absurd to me.

23) Shorts are wrong to wear by girls but sari without bra and revealing tummy is okay... Please, bewray the rule to me, I don't see that! :D 

EDIT: See, if I had to make some joke on this it would be like:
I think that the Indians who put a ban on jeans and t-shirt for girls do so just because sari is far more sexier.)


I am from Czech Republic - that is the European country where Baťa shoes are from. ;)  Been to Jaipur in 2011 for two months during monsoon, met mostly college students, having close NRI friends now.

Sorry for a too long list, you are too surprising country :) Comments more than welcome!




Monday, 31 March 2014

I love my new diary

I know it's a little outrageous ,but what the hell ? 
I love it . 


Make your list and have a good laugh .  
A piece of advice though . Don't let anybody get their hands on it . 

Sunday, 16 March 2014

My quote for the simply outrageous





No one escapes momentary acts of idiocy because at the end of the day, we are still human.                                                                               

                                                                                 -preeti abrol at the edge of lunacy 

Saturday, 1 February 2014

Women on top

   
There was a time when print advertisements were overtly racist, sexist and gave extremely unhealthy advice.  We still have many of these problems in advertising today, but at least women are not treated as mere objects or in a derogatory manner  . Imagine if the women today were depicted so outrageously today ,the offices of these advertising agencies would have to close down .

These ads show how women had been shamed using advertising in that day and age .They are made to feel ashamed for not conforming to what men desired .Moreover they were made to feel really insecure feel  if they did not measure up to them . I guess men really felt that they were God's gift to women .
 Isn't that absolutely outrageous? . Take a look at a few of these outrageous advertisements that were published at the time .




What they meant : a woman is so dumb that she can't  even open the cap of  a  bottle .
What we say :  You can't have ketchup till  Dad arrives from the office . That's the only thing he knows well .





What they meant : Clean up ,it's Christmas ! 
What we say : Set it up for me darlin' , you know I' m all dressed up  and  my nail polish is set to dry . And while you are at it give me a demo as well .



What they meant : Only a man can have have the privilege of having tea in bed . 
What we say now : (with a smile )Wait !  till I spill it on you ! 




What they meant : You'll follow me anywhere i want you to , even if I give you sweet poison .
What we say now : Are you nuts ? Go up in flames for all I care .


What they meant :We love to walk all over you ! 
What we say : And we would love to see your face when we pull the carpet under your feet .



What they meant : A wife's  place is at her man's shoes .
What we say : Oh really ! I was just checking out the best pair of shoes that I would give you a kick with . 

What they meant : Work  the whole day like a maid ,but look like a princess .
What we say :  I think you should hire a maid ! I think that's what you want . And don't forget to give her vitamins . 





Thankfully ,women are a respected lot today and a lot of male chauvinists have had to condescend to extend more humanity to women without making them the way they want them to be. So, let's say yeah to women power and tell the world as to how far we've come inspite of men's outrageous and demeaning treatment that existed in those days . 
What do you say ? 

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Bizarre heels in your closet

Which woman does not love high heeled shoes? Which woman doesn't like to be called a long legged beauty? We all do. And this is simply because they tend to give the aesthetic illusion of longer, slender and toned legs.
Designers happen to churn out many designs that deserve to be loved and praised by all. But when they take the liberty to put my aesthetic tastes to test and expect any kind of outrageous stuff to be accepted with open arms, my nerves start twitching and my brain cells start revolting. As a result of this, I feel compelled to eject my train of thoughts from my system through mean, ugly, comments.


Let me show you some of the most bizarre, outlandish, off the wall, and eccentric shoes I have come across. We've seen some innovative shoe designs, but these are truly wicked.  You think you have a pair of shoes that kills? Unless you've worn some of these, you can't complain about having a backbreaking sole.

A JACKETED POTATO WRAPPED IN FOIL
OR
 A FLOWER POT  ? MYSTIFIED 

GUYS ,THIS IS A WOMAN'S SELF DEFENSE MECHANISM . SO BEHAVE .


THE CIRCUS COMES TO TOWN 

BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER 

SPAGHETTI ON THE TABLE ? HMMM....WRONG ANSWER!



EXCAVATED FROM THE MOVIE LOCATION SET OF LIFE OF PI
TO BE DISPLAYED  IN A MUSEUM

EXCUSE ME ! AM I GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ?

ENLIGHTEN ME  AS TO WHICH SIDE I PUT IN MY FEET FIRST ?

TECHNOLOGICALLY  INDUCED CONTRAPTION 


Stephen Beyley once said “It is the fragrant lack of practicality that makes high-heeled shoes so fascinating: in terms of static mechanics they induce a sort of insecurity which some find titillating. If a woman wears a high-heeled shoe it changes the apparent musculature of the leg so that you get an effect of twanging sinew, of tension needing to be released. Her bottom sticks out like an offering. At the same time, the lofty perch is an expression of vulnerability, she is effectively hobbled and unable to escape. There is something arousing about this declaration that she is prepared to sacrifice function for form.”
I beg to differ , Mr. Beyley, high-heels have seen significant controversy, with many podiatrists seeing patients whose severe foot problems have been caused by high-heel wear or ill-fitting shoes.

So, the question is:
Would you wear these outrageous shoes made by  Givenchy, Gucci etc. in return for deformities, hammertoes, blisters, corns, hammer toes, bunions, and many other medical conditions, most of which are permanent .
Please let me know what you think of creativity going beyond one's senses.Is it heaven  or hell on heels for you ?